A Big Party About Being in Love

So, as it turns out, the whole reason for weddings in the first place is because you found someone you love (or that’s what it SHOULD be about, anyway), and you want to get a bunch of people together to tell them so. This is a concept that gets lost in the shuffle sometimes.

I can’t count the number of times I said to myself, “Don’t forget. It’s a big party. It’s just a big party.” Ultimately, that’s what the focus of this whole thing should be. It doesn’t matter if you are the skinniest you’ve ever been, or if the food is the most delicious, or if the usher’s gloves match the napkin rings. You might really really want those things to happen, but if they don’t… so what? Weddings are beautiful because it’s everyone you know and love, hanging out together, eating and drinking and dancing.

It can be hard to stay focused on that idea. Especially when your DJ isn’t responding to your emails, your votives arrive broken, you get 10 new RSVPs the day before the wedding and you have to reprint placecards while you get your makeup done the morning of, or someone steps on your billion dollar dress and puts a black footprint on it right before you walk down the aisle…. but you can do it. You CAN stay focused. Looking at your soon-to-be-husband in the face helps.

There’s a difference between Bridezilla and Bride-o-Rama. Bridezillas think that everyone should be doing what they tell them to, get pissed at people when they aren’t following their instructions closely, or freak out when EVERY.SINGLE.DETAIL isn’t exactly what they want. Bride-o-Ramas are so excited about their wedding that they want to spend every free moment researching, planning, creating, deciding. I think I was a Bride-o-Rama, but who really knows?

I will say this: the Bridezilla complex is not something you can plan against, change, or avoid. It’s a social construct. It doesn’t have to do with who you are. It has to do with the million details that YOU are in charge of- and each of those details is supposed to represent you, or you as a couple. That’s a lot of pressure. But remember. It’s a BIG PARTY ABOUT BEING IN LOVE. That’s the ticket, right there.